November 17, 2007 |
i'm on my last vicodin, but i haven't needed a single one. my first and second surgeries were so painful, i couldn't wipe my own ass for months without being in excruciating pain. the third surgery was so close to the second that i never felt pain from it, only residual from the second. this time, after just one week, even with a scar more massive than ever, i feel almost exactly back to where i was the day before. is that a good thing or a bad thing? i can still feel the phantom bar. it's only been a week and a half; things could get better. he could have replaced the permanent sutures with dissolvable ones, and that's why it feels the same. but i'm so scared. maybe we failed, again. what can i do? nothing, now. nothing, yet.
© barry reinschreiber